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Real Self-Care is Often Uncomfortable

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When you think about self-care, what types of activities come to mind?

It seems that our culture often tries to convince us that self-care is the same as pleasure and enjoyment. By pursuing pleasure and self-indulgence on a regular basis we’re told that we are taking good care of ourselves, giving ourselves the life we deserve.

We’ve been told that self-care activities might include bubble baths, massages, pedicures, Netflix binges, a delicious piece of chocolate, a bowl of ice cream, a glass of wine to help us unwind, and the like.

I’m not against pleasurable activities. And I’m not telling you that you should never take part in the above activities.

But I would like to point out that those activities are not self-care.

What is Self-Care, Really?

Self-care is quite simply taking care of yourself. You take care of yourself so that you can be the healthiest, best, happiest version of yourself possible.

Always seeking pleasure and avoiding hard things is usually the opposite of self-care.

If you want to be the healthiest you can possibly be you’re going to have to forgo pleasure once in a while (probably more often than once in a while) and actually do things that are uncomfortable and hard.

Consider parenting for a moment. There are some really fantastic and enjoyable parts about raising kids. They are funny and sweet. It’s incredible to watch your little humans grow up into functioning members of society with their own unique personalities and talents. Kids help you to view the world in different and better ways and they enrich our lives so much.

But, there are also some downsides. Taking care of children involves dirty diapers, epic meltdowns, sleepless nights, endless laundry, homework battles, and more.

You choose to endure these difficult and uncomfortable parts of taking care of children because your kids are worth it.

Likewise, we must pursue the difficult and uncomfortable parts of taking care of ourselves because we are worth it.

Pleasure Versus Self-Care

The majority of the time self-care is hard. I’m not sure who came up with the lie that led us to believe that self-care automatically equals pleasure because most of the time it doesn’t. The pleasure might come later, but the actual task itself is typically hard or at least hard to get started on.

Self-care is deciding to go to the gym. Pleasure is choosing to sit on the couch and binge on Netflix.

Self-care is eating a big salad full of nutritious veggies. Pleasure is chowing down on a mountain of cheese fries.

Self-care is creating and following a budget to better manage your finances and get out of debt. Pleasure is swiping your credit card and deciding to figure out your finances another day.

Self-care is going back to school to get the education you need to reach your dreams. Pleasure is ignoring the call inside of you and choosing to take the easy path instead.

Self-care is going to therapy, taking your meds, getting a mammogram, and visiting the dentist. Pleasure is self-medicating with alcohol, social media, junk food, shopping, or whatever addictive indulgence you prefer.

The Result of Excess Pleasure and Indulgence

So many people have fallen for the lie that we are taking care of ourselves with rewards, treats, and indulgences that we “deserve” because of this hard life that we live.

But the truth is that always pursuing a life of pleasure, gratification, indulgence, and distraction puts us on a path to nowhere. At best we will find ourselves stuck in our lives, constantly feeling like we need indulgences and rewards just to make it through the day.

But what most people experience, is even worse. These small pleasures, indulgences, and distractions send us on a slow downward spiral that just serves to make our lives more difficult and unhealthy. We don’t even realize it’s happening at the time. We’re just trudging through our lives the “best we can” rewarding ourselves with lattes, shopping sprees, and Netflix binges just to make it through. Until a few years down the road and we don’t even recognize ourselves.

We’ve gained more than a few pounds, we’re constantly stressed, filled with anxiety, and short-tempered. We have few coping skills and choose to numb our feelings instead. We might find ourselves facing an unexpected health diagnosis. Our relationships are a mess and we’ve hidden behind a fake persona for so long that we don’t even know who we are.

This, my friends, is completely the result of living a life of constantly pursuing pleasure and avoiding pain. That is not self-care.

Discomfort isn’t a bad thing. Choosing the difficult option instead of the pleasurable choice is usually the smartest decision. Pursuing the hard things in life can often lead to our best results. This is self-care.

I do want to make a point about rest and rejuvenation. It is very true that rest is a vital part of self-care that many people need more of. We need to alleviate our schedules, slow down, relax, and get more sleep. But I’m going to guess that the majority of the people who need more rest would probably balk at the idea of taking a nap or sitting down to relax once in a while. True rest and relaxation is actually a hard thing for many people to pursue these days. It feels unproductive, a waste of time, or it’s simply more enjoyable to stare at our phones or the TV, which does not count as rest or relaxation.

Are you in need of some real self-care?

Think back over your activities and decisions throughout the last week.

Maybe you are the type of person who isn’t choosing pleasure and indulgence, but you aren’t choosing self-care either. You’re so busy doing everything for everyone else that you rarely think about taking care of yourself or even rewarding yourself. Your task this week is to begin to find ways that you can truly take care of your own self. This doesn’t need to take loads of extra time and energy, just start small and choose one small way you can take care of yourself in a healthy way each day.

However, I’m guessing that most of us are in another situation. We have fallen into the trap of indulgence, reward, and self-gratification. We’ve been calling it self-care when we snooze our alarm, pick up our daily latte, or zone out on social media for hours before falling asleep each night. And we tell ourselves that our nightly glass of wine or bowl of ice cream has been a well-deserved reward for all our hard work.

If this sounds like where you’re at, be gentle and easy with yourself. This is not a time for shame and beating yourself up. It’s simply a time to notice a pattern you’d like to change. This week find one indulgence that you’d like to swap out for one self-care activity. Maybe you skip your daily latte and make it a goal to drink a gallon of water instead. Or maybe you forgo your nightly glass of wine and Netflix binge and instead try out a new exercise video (I’ll include links to several online exercise resources at the end of this post). Or perhaps you choose to go on a sugar fast and see how your body responds.

Let’s stop living under the lie that our best life must be the most pleasurable, easy, and reward-filled life and let’s instead intentionally pursue a life of health, wholeness, and true happiness. These things can only be found when we push past our discomfort and do the things that truly involve taking care of ourselves.


Resources to Help with Real Self-Care

Exercise

Aaptiv – like a Netflix for workouts, but it’s all audio so you can take your workouts on the go. There are so many great options for every level.

Yoga-Teket – this is my latest workout obsession. They have workout videos with tons of different yoga styles and teachers to choose from. You can try 30 days for free with my referral link.

YouTube – there are thousands (if not millions) of workout videos that you can watch for free on YouTube. No excuses if you don’t have the budget to pay for workout programs or a gym membership.

How to Workout on a Regular Basis

Healthy Eating

Prep Dish – if you need help with meal planning and getting healthy food on the table each night then definitely check out Prep Dish. With an hour or two of prep time on the weekend, you can prepare all of your meals in advance so that you only spend 10-15 minutes in the kitchen on busy weeknights.

Thrive Market – if you live in an area without a health foods store you might want to check out Thrive Market. They have a huge variety of health foods including gluten-free, organic, non-GMO, etc.

Pillars of Healthy Eating

Other Areas

Daily Habits to Improve your Mental Health

Budgeting Help

Establishing a Daily Time with God

Going Back to College as an Adult

Developing Friendships (as a grown up)

Self-care is not always pleasurable and treating yourself. Real self-care is often hard and uncomfortable. Self-care is taking care of yourself and sometimes that's not easy or fun, but it is always worth it. #selfcare #selflove #exercise #wellness #healthyliving

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34 Health Tips Even the Busiest Moms Can Do

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Today is my 34th birthday! I am actually away this entire week, camping on Lake Michigan with my family. But I’m planning ahead and wanted to celebrate my birthday on the blog with this post. (Last year in honor of my birthday, I shared 33 things you may not know about me.)

health tips for busy moms

I’m slowly changing my approach to this blog just a bit in the coming months. While I will still talk about a variety of topics and resources for working moms in general, my main focus is going to be on physical, spiritual, and mental/emotional health. I’m still working out all of the details of how this will look. I do love to talk about all things personal growth and relationships (parenting, marriage, and friendship), but my overall theme will be geared more toward overall health and wellness for busy moms. Something that I think often gets overlooked or pushed to the bottom of the to do list for many of us.

I shared this on my Facebook and Instagram accounts last week and wanted to share it here as well in case you missed it:

As busy moms, we juggle a lot of priorities. Our lives are packed full of important responsibilities that must be done. We push and strive and hustle to be the best we can be for our families, employers, church, and community.

None of this is bad, of course, but how many of us sacrifice our own health and wellness for the sake of our to do list, accomplishments, and responsibilities? How often do we sacrifice sleep, run on quick and easy junk food, skip workouts, get too busy to pray, and too important to take time out for Bible study? How many of us hustle through every day with tension, anxiety, worry, and fear, dissatisfaction, and stress instead of a peace that surpasses all understanding like we’ve been promised we can have?

How much better could we be, how much more could we accomplish, and maybe most importantly, how much more enjoyable would life be if we decided to prioritize our own wellness? What would happen if we decided that our own physical, spiritual, and mental/emotional health became our top priority? I’m not suggesting a self-care routine of daily lattes and massages, I’m talking about solid daily habits that allow us to bring the best version of ourselves to our daily life. To be able to show up with energy, health, nourishment, peace, and a rock solid faith in God that can move any mountain?

Not an easy task, certainly. Adding more to our already full lives and schedules cannot be taken lightly. But what if the answer to doing it all didn’t just come from a new time management system, a strong support system, a better way to focus and be productive, but instead, to simply bring our best selves to the table each and every day. To show up to our lives healthy and well. To give from a full cup. To hustle from a place of health instead of exhaustion.

This is my mission at WorkingMomsBalance.com. To help women pursue health, wellness, and wholeness. To stop sacrificing our very lives in pursuit of our lives and instead start focusing on living from a place of health. To quit the cycle of exhaustion and stress and overwhelm that is killing us and making us miserable. To truly be healthy, mind, body, and spirit. I think that has the power to change everything. We prioritize our own health not to be selfish, but because we understand that the healthier we are, the better can be, the more we can accomplish, and the further can go.

Let’s stop sacrificing our own health and wellness. Let’s end our addiction to being a martyr to our own lives and schedules. God, health, and wholeness. Everything else will be better after that.

If this resonates with you, I invite you to follow along. Subscribe to the blog, like the Working Mom’s Balance Facebook page, follow me on Instagram and share the posts and resources with your friends. Let’s build a community of women who give up the life of stress and exhaustion and pick up a life of health, wellness, and wholeness.

Be well. Body, spirit and mind.

So, in that vein and in celebration of my birthday, I thought I would share 34 simple health tips related to your physical, spiritual, and mental health that you can begin implementing right now. Enjoy!

1. Drink more water.

2. Move your body every hour, even if just for a minute.

3. Read ingredient labels instead of nutrition labels.

4. Put your workouts on your calendar, and then honor your schedule.

5. Stretch more often.

6. Spend a few minutes outside every single day, no matter the weather.

7. Don’t be afraid of all the germs and dirt. Play in the garden, walk barefoot in your yard.

8. Get rid of antibacterial soap.

9. Eat your vegetables.

10. Avoid snacks that come in boxes, bags, and other packages – an apple is just as convenient as a granola bar!

11. Eat only when you are hungry (not because it’s time or because you’re bored or because you’re sad/anxious/happy).

12. Give up (at least some) added sugars.

13. Avoid artificial sugars as much as you can.

14. Get more sleep!

15. Find an active activity you actually enjoy and do it.

16. If you hate running, exercise classes, lifting weights, or any other workout, stop doing it immediately. Why torture yourself? That’s not healthy.

17. Practice moderation – nothing should ever be off limits for ever unless you have an allergy/food sensitivity.

18. Don’t be a slave to your scale. It’s really not that important.

19. Talk to God all day, about everything that happens.

20. Meditate on Bible verses that apply to your current circumstances.

21. Do something kind for someone else every single day.

22. Read and discuss Bible verses and stories with your kids.

23. Make a gratitude list every single day.

24. Choose to think about good things instead of bad things.

25. Never let failure make you quit.

26. Don’t compare.

27. Remember that people-pleasing is lying. Live authentically as you are, not as someone else wants you to be.

28. Breathe. Slowly and purposefully.

29. Nurture your relationships well.

30. Unplug on a regular basis.

31. Set proper boundaries. Learn to say no.

32. Find healthy ways to manage your stress.

33. Get help when you need it. Find a counselor, coach, or doctor you can trust.

34. Make your health a priority.

Health tips for busy working moms. Tips to improve your health. Healthy habits.

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10 Small Steps to Improve Your Physical Health

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I think we all want to be physically healthy. No one would intentionally choose to be tired, sluggish, overweight, or sick all the time. I don’t know anyone who wants to visit their doctor more often in order to be prescribed more and more medicines for illnesses and diseases. But, statistics show that, in the main, we’re getting less and less healthy over time.

From repeated acute colds and minor illnesses to devastating diseases without a cure, physical health is something that many Americans struggle with in some form or another.

The truth is, it can be hard to keep up with all the changes in the recommendations that the government makes for our physical health. There always seems to be a new scientific study that contradicts the last one. And in our busy culture, who has the time to worry about their physical health anyways? It can often feel like a full-time job to make and eat the proper food (sourced in the proper way), get the recommended physical activity each day, and take the myriad of vitamins and supplements that are marketed to us.

The reality is that physical health doesn’t have to take all of your focus and time and living a healthy lifestyle doesn’t mean completely overhauling your entire life next Monday. Finding our way to being truly healthy physically isn’t an impossible feat, but it is a process. We must learn to be intentional about the choices we make regarding our food and activities and we must learn to take small, gradual baby steps to lead us in the direction of our goals.

10 small steps to improve your physical health

Today, I want to share with you ten changes you can begin to make to move closer to being more physically healthy. Don’t try to implement all of these next Monday. Instead, try to pick the one that is the most challenging for you, or the one that you feel would make the biggest difference in your life right now. Then, slowly start to incorporate the change into your life. Choose to take a small step toward this new goal all throughout your day. Each small step will add up and over time, you will begin to see some big differences in how you feel. Once you’ve mastered one, go back and begin working on whichever other change will make the biggest difference for you.

And if you mess up and fall off the rail one day, just make the next right choice. You don’t have to wait until next Monday or even tomorrow to get back on track. Just make your next choice a better one.

1. Get Enough Sleep

get enough sleep to improve your physical health

The number one, most basic way to improve your physical health is to get enough sleep. Preferably, you should be getting an average at least 7-9 hours of sleep in each 24 hour period. I know, easier said than done, especially when you have young kids or your to-do list is long, but sleep should be one of your top priorities. It will make everything else easier.

If you are looking for a way to easily track your sleep each night, I would highly recommend getting a wearable fitness tracker that can detect your sleep patterns. I have a simple FitBit Flex and it is really convenient to be able to see not only how much sleep I’m getting, but also to be able to track how the quality of sleep I am getting each night.

2. Drink More Water

drink more water to improve your physical health

The general rule of thumb is to drink to thirst. Pay attention to your body and when you are thirsty, grab a drink. Your body is pretty amazing and knows how much you need to drink, you just have to learn to listen to it. If you don’t trust your thirst mechanism, another useful tip is to drink about a half ounce to an ounce of water for each pound of body weight. This means if you weigh 135 pounds, you should be drinking between 67-135 ounces of water each day. Use your thirst, your activity level, and the weather to tell you if you should be on the low end or the high end of that range.

One of the most important things to do to incorporate drinking more water in your day is to actually have a portable water cup that goes with you everywhere. So often we get caught up in the busyness of our day that we just don’t have time to run out and grab a bottle of water (not to mention how expensive it can be to constantly need to buy bottles of water each day). You will rarely see me out and about without my water cup nearby. I have gotten to the point where I can’t stand the feeling of being thirsty, so I always make sure I’m prepared.

For the longest time, I carried around these plastic insulated tumblers. They worked great and lasted for years. But I tend to be a bit clumsy and after dropping each of them several times they started developing cracks. Last week I upgraded to these stainless steel tumblers to give me a little more durability. Whatever you do, choose a tumbler/mug/cup/bottle that will work with your lifestyle. You might need something fully sealed that you can throw in your purse or maybe you prefer a glass option. Need help with pacing your water intake? Try a time-marked water bottle to keep you on track all day.

3. Eat More Whole, Unprocessed Foods

eat more real food to improve your physical health

The closer your food is to the way God originally made it, the better. Start by eating fresh fruits, vegetables, and lean meats. Fill up on the good stuff, so you don’t have room for the junk. You likely won’t completely avoid packaged and processed foods, but the goal is just to aim for the majority of your foods to be whole, real, and unprocessed.

Grabbing a piece of fruit for your afternoon snack is just as easy as opening a bag of chips. Eating a salad with your dinner only takes a couple minutes more than taking a second portion of the meal. Think about small ways you can include more real food throughout your day.

4. Cut back on Sugar

cut back on sugar to improve your health

I didn’t say “never eat sugar again”, but if sugar is something you regularly consume, it’s time to start looking for alternatives. Stop buying candy and other sugary snacks and instead, choose to fill your desk and home with healthier snack alternatives. If you’re looking for something sweet try to choose something like fruit instead of a piece of candy If you feel the need to sweeten something, choose a natural sweetener such as honey or real maple syrup.

Be sure that you don’t just replace table sugar with fake sugar. “Fake sugars” or artificial sweeteners are worse for you than table sugar, so be sure to avoid things with artificial sweeteners such as sucralose, sorbitol, xylitol, aspartame, etc. (Hint: if it says “diet” on the label, steer clear.)

You want to choose naturally occurring sugars like those found in fruits, milk, honey, and real maple syrup. I buy honey in bulk and use it nearly everytime I might normally use sugar such as in baked goods or to sweeten tea, yogurt, oatmeal, and many other things. I have this huge bottle that I picked up from Costco so it lasts a while.

5. Be Physically Active Every Single Day

be physically active everyday to improve your health

You don’t have to run a marathon every day, but you should move your body in some significant way on a daily basis. If you are like most people I know and your job involves sitting at a computer all day or some other mostly sedentary work, you need to make sure to add some physical activity to your schedule, preferably something that gets your heart rate up and causes you to break out into a sweat.

It takes me 5 minutes or less to break into a sweat on my daily runs, so this doesn’t have to be something that takes a significant amount of time. The key is consistency so it becomes a habit. Some ideas are a brisk walk on your break, taking the stairs to get to your office, doing a few exercises before jumping into the shower in the morning or just before bed.

6. Get Outside Each Day

go outside every day

Even if it’s rainy, even if it’s snowing, even if it’s cold, especially if the sun is shining, I firmly believe that everyone needs some fresh air each and every day. Take a break for just a few minutes at work and walk outside, take a few deep breathes, soak up some sunshine if it’s around, and take a moment to relax and notice your surroundings. Nature, even if it’s in the middle of a busy downtown atmosphere, does good things for your soul. Breath, notice, and enjoy.

7. Take Your Vitamins and Supplements

take vitamins and supplements

So your diet isn’t perfect. Even if it was, with the way our food is produced these days, it is likely that you still need some additional supplementation to fill in the holes and gaps in your diet. I do not believe you need to spend thousands of dollars on vitamins and supplements. You do not need to take a supplement for everything and you shouldn’t. Be careful what you choose and be sure that it truly is filling in the gaps in your diet.

Personally, I take a daily multivitamin, and an omega-3 supplement (because I hate fish, so I definitely don’t get enough in my diet). I also take a probiotic supplement on occasion and have been known to add in a magnesium supplement at times.

8. Get Regular Exams

get regular exams

No one wants to go to the doctor, but going to the doctor for preventative checkups can mean less sick visits down the road. Go to the doctor for your annual physical and woman check at least once a year. Go to your dentist twice a year. And get your eyes checked regularly. Most insurance plans cover these visits in full, so be sure to take advantage and have your overall health evaluated to make sure you are as healthy as you think you are.

9. Manage Your Stress

manage your stress

Your brain controls a lot. Your physical health can be very closely tied to your mental health. The more stressed, anxious, or fearful you are on a regular basis, the harder your body has to work to be healthy. All of the tips I’ve listed above can provide tremendous help in keeping you healthy but if you are chronically stressed and busy, your body will pay for it.

Always make time in your schedule for yourself. Be sure to pursue the passions and hobbies that interest you. Prioritize self-care, rest, and relaxation. Take time each day to just breathe and be. Learn how to manage stress and remove the circumstances in your life that cause you excess stress (or change the way you think about things that can’t be removed). Get professional help if you need a little assistance in overcoming your anxieties and stresses. Don’t live your life in a chronic state of stress, you were made for more than that.

10. Don’t be a victim.

don't be a victim

So often I hear women use their circumstances as an excuse for poor health and this is garbage. There is always something you can do. Do not give up the power and control of your life to a diagnosis or genetics or any other reason you want to give. Just because you have a bad health diagnosis doesn’t mean you should just throw up your hands and give up. In fact, it is all the more reason for you to prioritize your physical health to counteract the illness or disease.

Alternatively, don’t use the excuse of genetics or family history to allow you to stay unfit, unhealthy, and overweight. There is always, always something you can do to make yourself healthier and overcome the limitations of your genes and family history. The same goes for difficult life circumstances. You may not have any power over your genetics or your history, but you get to decide what you do about it today. Don’t give your power away to excuses. If you want to be healthy make healthier choices, starting right now.

Today’s Action Step

Pick one of these 10 items to be your focus. All throughout your day for the next week think of this one thing and begin making decisions to be healthy. Take small steps to lead you to your goals. You can find better health, it starts with your next healthy decision. Share in the comments which area you will be focusing on first.

Be sure to download my free food and wellness tracker to log the changes you make and the results you see.

Additional Resources

11 Fast and Healthy Breakfast Options

8 Key Areas to Explore When Life Feels Out of Balance

10 Ways to Make Fitness a Family Affair

Why Losing Weight Should Never Be Your Goal

How to Workout Every Single Day

I’m trying to share more overall healthy tips over on my running Instagram profile. Be sure to follow me there for more tips and inspiration.

You don't have to overhaul your entire life in order to be healthier. By making small choices all throughout your day, you can gradually change your health in a way that lasts. Here are 10 small ways to improve your physical health.

 

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All the Books I Read in 2016

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I cannot believe it is the last day of 2016. Where in the world did this year go? I know we say that every year. This one felt both really fast and pretty awesome. There were so many fun things I experienced, lots of great things I accomplished, and some pretty cool small moments with my family and friends.

This blog grew a lot this year, I ran my first full marathon, went on a fun vacation with my family, used the KonMari method to declutter a significant portion of our stuff (though I still hope to actually finish this one day), redesigned this blog, added 366 days to my running streak, read 25 books, and a whole host of other things.

I have some big plans and goals for the coming year. I’ll be sharing more about that in the coming weeks. Today, I wanted to share the books I read in 2016. Many of them have influenced the direction I’m planning to go in the New Year. I always hope to read 52 books each year, knowing that that is a steep goal. Some years I get close and some years I end up quite far from my goal. This year I read 25 books, which is still pretty significant. (Here are my tips for finding time to read more books.)

I read 25 books in 2016. Here is the list of books I read as well as my comments and ratings.

This year I discovered audiobooks late in the year, which has made a big impact on the number of books I’m able to read. It is so easy to turn on a book while I’m driving in the car, making dinner, or going for a run. I have a subscription to Audible, but when I run out of Audible credits I use the free service provided by my local library to find additional audiobooks to listen to. If you are looking to read more books in 2017, I highly recommend giving audiobooks a try. (Try Audible and Get Two Free Audiobooks)

I figured I would share all of the books I read, so you can see what I liked and what I didn’t like. Here are the books I read during 2016:

Orphan #8 by Kim van Alkenmade. I could not put this book down. This is a historical novel about a young orphan who is subjected to medical experiments as a young child that have lasting effects on her health. As an adult, she is confronted with the doctor responsible for the experimentation and begins to realize the complexities of how our destinies come to be. (4 stars)

The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt. I read this book as part of a book club. I normally would not have picked this book on my own, so it’s nice to be part of a book club that expands your reading preferences a bit. This book is really long. It is also umm, intense? I’m not exactly sure how best to describe it without giving away some details. I’ll just say that if you are easily offended, this may not be the book for you. There is drug use, sex, language, and some pretty dark times. However, it was another one I could not put down, which was a bit dangerous since it’s 771 pages. (3 stars)

The Atonement Child by Francine Rivers. This is the book where I was reminded once again that I have no long-term memory. Turns out, I read this book years ago and didn’t even realize it until I found the book hiding on my bookshelf during my KonMari sessions. I wondered why I could predict this story so well! This book does a fairly good job at showing some of the complexities of the unwanted pregnancy/abortion debate. Parts of it felt like the author was putting a lot of effort into getting her point across about the abortion debate instead of telling the story, but overall it was a good book. (4 stars)

How to Work for Yourself: 110 Ways to Make the Time, Energy and Priorities to Start a Business, Book or Blog by Bryan Cohen. I picked this one up because it is a free kindle book. I’m glad it was free. Some of the ideas are good, but there wasn’t anything earth shattering for me to learn. (2 stars)

48 Days to the Work You Love by Dan Miller. I kept hearing about this book in different Podcasts and blogs I follow, so I figured I should read it. If you are looking for a new career and want to launch an intense job search to find the perfect career, then this is probably a very useful book. I am not looking for a new job in that way, so I didn’t find it all that helpful, but again, I’m not really the target audience for the book. (4 stars)

Fates and Furies by Lauren Groff. I read this back in March and I don’t remember any of it! Haha! This is how terrible my memory is. I remember reading the book and I remember the characters after reading the book summary on Amazon, but that’s about all I remember. I rated the book with 3 stars on Goodreads, so apparently, I wasn’t all that impressed and my lack of memory seems to agree. (3 stars)

Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn. The basic premise of this book is how to work with children to meet their needs to guide them into becoming healthy, caring, and responsible people. It provides an alternative to the usual rewards and punishment style parenting. I love the book and the concepts it teaches. I just wish that I was better able to remember all of this amazing information in the difficult parenting moments. I am a work in progress. (5 stars)

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. This is an old book. But I think the concepts it teaches are timeless. This book is all about social skills and in my opinion, how to be a good person. People like good people. I don’t know that I agree with everything in the book, but overall there are some good concepts. (4 stars)

Rising Strong by Brene Brown. This book is all about how to recover from our falls, failures, and hard times. By pressing into our emotions and experience to truly overcome them and rise stronger. I love Brene’s work and hope to read her other books soon. (4 stars)

Not by Sight by Kate Breslin. I love historical fiction. I also love romance, so of course I really love historical romance novels. This one did not disappoint and was another that I could not put down. (5 stars)

No Excuses!: The Power of Self-Discipline by Brian Tracy. I had really high hopes for this book. I mean, it’s Brian Tracy, it must be a great book. But I just didn’t feel like it was all that helpful or really taught me anything I didn’t already know. It also didn’t really excite or inspire me. Maybe I just expected too much. (3 stars)

The Book Thief by Markus Zusak. This is a historical novel set in Nazi Germany that follows a young foster girl. I really enjoyed this book. (4 stars)

Kitchens of the Great Midwest by J. Ryan Stradal. I had no idea what to expect from this book but ended up loving it. The story is about the life of a young woman who becomes a very famous, in demand chef. (5 stars)

A Praying Life: Connecting with God in a Distracting World by Paul E. Miller. I’ve been looking for a book on prayer that really discussed how to make prayer a priority as well as the ins and outs of a good prayer life. This book did a great job of covering how to develop a strong prayer life. There were lots of suggestions, some I’ve implemented and others I’ve passed on. (5 stars)

The Nest by Cynthia D’Aprix Sweeney. This is a great story about family, money, and ambition. It was funny and very engaging. I was hooked and fascinated. (5 stars)

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Building a Framework: The Ultimate Blogging Handbook by Abby Lawson. This would of course only be a great read if you are a blogger or hope to become one, but for me, this was a fantastic ebook. Much of the information in this book I also learned from Elite Blog Academy, but it is great to have multiple perspectives. (5 stars)

Belgravia by Julian Fellowes. If you loved Downton Abbey, you’ll probably love this book as well. Same author, similar setting, different story. (5 stars)

Love Warrior by Glennon Doyle Melton. This is a memoir of Glennon’s life and marriage. From the outside looking it, she appeared to have a perfect life, until her husband revealed his ongoing infidelity. Glennon has a way of truth telling that is raw and honest and vulnerable and hard to find in other books. My story is drastically different from hers, but yet her raw honesty helped me to see myself in her story. Love this book. (5 stars)

Little House in the Big Woods by Laura Ingalls Wilder. I listened to this in audiobook form with the kids on our commute to and from school every day. So far, this is the only long audiobook I’ve found to hold their attention for the entire book. (5 stars)


Surprised by Hope: Rethinking Heaven, the Resurrection, and the Mission of the Church by N.T. Wright. I really struggled through this book. I felt like I needed a seminary degree in order to understand a lot of the words he used. I feel like I’m a reasonably intelligent person, but there were so many big theological words. However, if you can get passed the big words and overly complicated theological speak, the information presented in the book was fascinating and really helpful to read. (4 stars)

Freedom by Jaycee Dugard. I was fascinated by Jaycee’s first book, A Stolen Life, so I thought I would love this book too. But it was simply not a good book. The writing is incredibly juvenile and the stories are somewhat boring. I think the incredible story was what made her first book so good. This book is all about rebuilding her life after her captivity and it’s just simple things like getting a dog, riding a plane for the first time, buying horses, etc. Eventually, I just skimmed the last several chapters. (1 star)

The Noticer Returns by Andy Andrews. In all honesty, it took me over a year to finish this book. I kept losing interest and putting it down. I loved The Noticer and this book is very similar, but just not quite as addicting. The concepts you can learn through the story are still good, it’s just that the story itself wasn’t as interesting. (4 stars)

Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes. I just read this book this month in preparation for next year (my theme for the year is not “Yes” but similar, I’ll explain more in a future post). Shonda Rhimes is the creator of Grey’s Anatomy, Private Practice, and Scandal. She set out to have an entire year of saying “Yes” to everything that scared her. Some parts of the story are hard to relate to since she’s a fancy Hollywood person who gets invited to dinners with the President of the United States, but overall this is a really great book about bravery and facing our fears. There is some language, but it’s fairly mild. I highly recommend the audiobook because she reads it and it makes it feel like she’s just sitting next to you telling you the story. (5 stars)

Let’s All Be Brave: Living Life with Everything You Have by Annie F. Downs. There were parts of this book I really liked and I love the overall theme. However, I think the target audience for this book is young, single, possibly college or just post-college-aged women. Everyone has a different story and being brave looks differently for each person, but I just found Annie’s stories to be hard to relate to since I’m in a completely different season of life. She talked about her weight and her singleness a lot, which are not issues that I personally deal with, but if you do, then this would be a great book. (3 stars)

Thinner Leaner Stronger by Michael Matthews. One of my goals for 2017 is to get stronger (yes, I have a more detailed actual goal than that), so I picked up this book to help me get started toward this goal. The information was really good and the program is heavily based on scientific research studies. I learned a lot. The only thing I didn’t like is that he really focuses on looks. His entire purpose for working out and weight lifting seems to be to have a really impressive body, which in my opinion is the worst reason possible for working out and makes me want to gag. But as long as I could get passed that, it was a very informative book. (4 stars)

Phew! That was a long list. This next year my goal will again be to read 52 books. However, I’m going into the year with more of a plan than ever before. I’m creating a list of books that I want to read now so I can jump right in and start reading them. A goal without a plan is just a dream, so for my reading goal, I want to actually have a plan.

I have quite a number of books on my list so far, but I’m looking for additional recommendations. Please leave me a comment and let me know what your favorite books are so I can consider adding them to my list.

As I hinted at, I have some really big goals and plans for the coming year. I’ll be sharing more about these goals and how I developed them in the coming weeks. If you want to make sure you don’t miss it, be sure to subscribe to our email club to get our bimonthly newsletter with all of the latest and greatest.

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This year I read 25 books. Here is the list as well as my comments and rating for each.

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8 Key Areas to Explore When Life Feels Out of Balance

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As working moms, we wear a lot of hats. We have many responsibilities constantly fighting for our attention. Somehow, we must learn how to prioritize, strategize, and focus just to be able to survive. But I don’t want to just survive the chaos that is my life, I want to actually thrive and truly enjoy my life.

I want my life to be full of beauty and love, peace and joy, abundance and growth. These things don’t just happen by chance and it’s very hard to find them if you’re simply moving through life at break-neck speed hoping to survive. Balance and thriving in life can only happen by living intentionally. We must pay attention to the direction our life is heading and make decisions and changes to move in the direction we actually want to go.

If our life feels chaotic and disjointed, or if we constantly feel like we’re drowning and not able to keep up, it is time to make some changes. If we never get the opportunity to enjoy our life or to soak up the beauty and the goodness around us, it is time to create some space. And if we struggle to experience joy and fulfillment in our lives, it is time to shift our priorities.

8 Key Areasto ExploreWhen LifeFeelsOut ofBalance

There are 8 key areas of life that we need to regularly consider and explore in order to keep our lives in balance. Each new season of life may require us to shift our focus in these key areas to make sure we are living a life of abundance, peace, and joy.

If you are feeling unfulfilled or if life is more chaotic than you would prefer, take some time to examine these key areas. Consider how you are doing in these areas and where you are finding success. You might also think about which key areas are most important to you in this season of life. Decide what might need to be removed from your life, what changes you should make, and what you should continue doing in each area in order to develop some goals to go along with these changes.

Physical

If you’re physical body is not healthy, you cannot live and perform at your best. You will struggle with unnecessary fatigue, pain, sickness, and other ailments that will slow you down and keep you from truly enjoying your life. Your physical health should be one of your most important priorities. Everything in your life suffers if you are not physically healthy. Everything in your life is enhanced by good physical health.

Obtaining good physical health involves eating nutritious and wholesome foods, being physically active on a regular basis, and getting sufficient rest and relaxation. It also means going to the doctor when necessary (including the dentist and eye doctor), taking additional vitamins and supplements as needed, and taking other preventative measures to keep yourself well.

If you are regularly feeling tired, getting sick, or unable to keep up with the demands of your life, spend some time considering your current physical health and make some goals and changes to help you improve.

Related: 10 Ways to Make Fitness a Family Affair

Spiritual

Your relationship with God should be at the top of your priority list. If we want to live our best life, it would be wise to stay closely connected to the source of life. Without spending regular time with God, our life becomes purposeless, anxiety-ridden, and hopeless. We need God to infuse us with His love, His purpose, and His power to equip us for everything that life throws our way.

spiritual health

We focus on our spiritual health by making sure we spend time in the Word, in prayer, in the fellowship of other believers (church and small group meetings), and in generosity and service. By focusing our thoughts and intentions on God all throughout each day we make sure that we are constantly allowing His Spirit to lead us and guide us in all of our circumstances.

Spend some time evaluating your spiritual life. Do you have time set aside every day for prayer and reading the Bible? Are you and your family regularly attending church and becoming involved in a small group of believers? Are you sensitive to the Holy Spirit throughout your day, listening for God’s voice, and allowing Him to guide your thoughts and decisions?

Related: Thy Will Be Done

Emotional

There seems to be two main ways that people tend to deal with their emotions. On one hand there are people who ignore their emotions, particularly the negative ones. They bottle them up, numb them, wish them away, or try to overpower their emotions through activity.

On the other hand are people who fully experience their emotions. They recognize you can’t go over them, you can’t go under them, you have got to go through them. These people intentionally do everything they can to feel all of the emotions that come their way. Instead of trying to ignore their emotions or even react to every emotion that comes along, they allow them all to come. They become curious about their emotions and begin to notice what it feels like to be happy, sad, peaceful, or anxious. They consider the thoughts and events that lead to different emotions. And because they are able to pause and feel and think about their emotions, they are able to use their brains (their thoughts) to lead their decisions in life, not their emotions.

This second group of people are the ones who have found true emotional health. They recognize that emotions are a part of life, but emotions do not (or at least should not) have any actual control of our lives. We get to control our lives. Your circumstances don’t control your life. Your anxiety doesn’t control your life. You do. So stop reacting to circumstances and emotions and take control.

If this is an area that you struggle with, take some time to work on feeling your emotions. When you notice you are feeling a particular emotion, pause and get curious about it. What does it feel like in your body to be angry? What are the thoughts you are currently thinking that have led to your angry feelings? Are these thoughts serving you? Keep asking questions, keep feeling, and don’t take action until the intense feeling has passed. Just feel your emotion and allow it to teach you.

Related: Embracing Negative Emotions Without Getting Stuck

Social

We were created for community. We aren’t meant to do life all on our own. It is important to have and to nurture the relationships in our lives. This includes our marriage, our children, our extended family, our friends, and our coworkers.

social life

This area includes a lot of important people. Different seasons of life will require our social life to look a little different, but it is important to have social relationships with a variety of people. If you only ever see your husband and children, you likely need to be more intentional about making time for friends and other relationships. If your coworkers know all about the details of your life but you can’t remember the last real conversation you had with your husband, make it a priority to schedule some down time with your spouse. And if you struggle to shut down your work at 5:00, it may be wise to develop some evening routines that will offer you more quality time with your kids.

Related: Why My Husband Trumps My Kids

Intellectual

You learn something new everyday. Or at least you should. You may have celebrated your graduation day from school as the sign that you were done with learning and growing, but that wasn’t actually the case. Without ever learning anything new or becoming better, we become stagnant, unfulfilled, and disconnected from life. Your intellectual health is important, not only in helping you feel more satisfied in life, but also in keeping your brain young and active.

Fortunately for this key area of life, there are lots of options for keeping up. You can of course read books (both fiction and non-fiction are important), you can take courses (there are a number of free online courses on a variety of topics including crafts, hobbies, and other interests), you can write, you can do puzzles and games. Anything that gives your brain a workout.

Related: 5 Ways to Find Time to Read More Books

Occupational/Purpose

Your occupational health includes your job, but it is far more than just your career. Your occupational health is your contribution to the world, your mission, your calling. It’s that thing that wakes you up in the morning and drives you to do better in life. Sometimes it overlaps with some of the other key areas of our lives. Sometimes it has a little to do with our career and a lot to do with that thing we do in our free time on the side.

occupational health and purpose

There are people who have their dream job. They do something fulfilling, they change the world, and get paid to do it. But not everyone lives this type of life. Some people work a job that provides an income that allows them to pursue their passions outside of work. Both situations are completely normal and fine.

But we all need something in our lives that brings us purpose, passion, and fulfillment, whether that’s in our 9-5 job or the thing we do on the weekends or any other time in between. It is wise to have a job that you can tolerate, but if you feel like you’re job just isn’t meeting all of your needs, you may not need to find a new job. You might just need to find your fulfillment and passion in the other hours of your week.

Think about the things you spend your time on. What excites you the most? What gives you a sense of purpose? What do you feel that God has called you to do? How can you do more of these things in your daily life?

Related: 30 Questions to help you develop more clarity for your life

Environmental

Sure, this has a little to do with taking care of the Earth, but mostly when I talk about environmental health I’m talking about your surroundings. This can be people, things, or places.

You might need to address your environment if you are surrounded by actual physical chaos. If you have too much stuff and clutter or if things are always messy, you will want to purge your environment and get organized. If you have no organized system for handling your calendar and your tasks, you want to find some strategies and planning skills that work for you.

The people you surround yourself with are also important. If you are constantly surrounded by toxic people with negative attitudes or abusive personalities it can affect your life immensely. It might be time to make some changes to your circumstances if the people in your life are causing your environment to be uncomfortable or even miserable.

Sometimes our environmental health is affected by the places we spend our time and we may need to actually relocate ourselves for a variety of reasons. This could mean finding a new job, a new church, or even a new home. Pay attention to your surroundings and notice if you need to make some changes.

Related: Taming the Paper Monster with KonMari

Financial

I almost didn’t include this one on the list because I don’t want people to think that riches are a part of living a great life. You don’t need to be rich to live in abundance. But you do need to be a wise steward of the money you do have, so your financial health is really important.

You can be happy with any amount of money. If you don’t believe me, go spend some quality time in a third world country. I promise you will find people who are immensely happy with their lives and they probably don’t even know how “poor” they are. Happiness is not found in money.

However, money can make you downright miserable. It can destroy lives. Money has the power to ruin relationships, to wreck your physical health, to damage your spiritual health, and to keep you from experiencing fulfillment in life. Being financially responsible and a good steward of the money you do have is incredibly important.

If your finances are a mess, take some time to evaluate your spending, consider ways to cut back, investigate new income sources, and develop a workable budget system.

Related: 6 Ways Working Moms Can Make More Money

Moms have a lot of responsibilities in life. Here are 8 key areas to explore and consider in your life to find out what changes you need to implement in order to find balance.

Balancing all of the key areas in life

The word balance tends to have a bad name. Many people frown when we start talking about “balance” in life, claiming that it’s not possible. While I agree that you can’t spend an exact amount of time in each of these 8 key areas and magically find the perfect balance in life, I truly believe that you can live your life in such a way that you feel like things are in balance. You can live in a way that doesn’t feel stressful and chaotic. It is possible to experience a life in which you don’t actually feel like you are on the verge of drowning at all times.

Balance is about being in control of our lives. It is about living intentionally and purposefully. It is about living with daily peace and joy no matter the circumstances because we are healthy and stable in all of the key areas of our lives. It takes work to remain in balance. It doesn’t just happen. It takes some juggling and hard decisions on a daily basis. But it is possible to live a life of balance. It is possible to live a life that feels fulfilled, abundant, and enjoyable.

Personally, I like to review these key life areas yearly, quarterly, and monthly. I encourage you to take some time to review how your life feels and which of the above areas are you doing the best in. Make some decisions and arrangements to keep doing what you’re doing in these areas.

Then take some time to consider the key life areas where you are currently struggling. Determine what changes need to be made and develop a few small goals to help you start making progress to get where you want to be in these key areas.

Each month, take a few minutes to evaluate what you’ve accomplished, what circumstances have changed in your life, and decide how you are succeeding in each of the key life areas. Then use this information to intentionally set your goals and plans for the next month.

*Free Printable Key Life Areas Worksheet*

I have created a Key Life Area Worksheet for my email subscribers that can walk you through this self-evaluation. Click here to join the Working Mom’s Balance email club to download your copy of this printable worksheet. Once you have confirmed your subscription, you will receive an email with a link to download your worksheet.

Today’s action step:

Schedule some time in your calendar this week to perform the above exercise to evaluate how you are doing in each of the 8 key areas. Use that time to also develop a few goals for September. If you’d like, share your goals in the comments for additional accountability.

My goal for this blog is to create posts that speak to at least one of the above 8 key life areas. By making small changes in the key areas of our lives we can start to live lives that feel more balanced, connected, and peaceful.

If you would like a copy of the Key Life Area Worksheet and to stay connected so you never miss a thing, join the email club below.

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