Can You Have It All?

We’ve been told that we can have it all. Perfect career. Perfect marriage. Perfect kids. Perfect home. Women, these days, can do anything they want. The world is at your fingertips. You can achieve anything you put your mind to.

It sounds pretty amazing, right? Exciting, motivating, liberating? We must celebrate this freedom.

But what happens when our desire to have it all feels like anything but freedom? What do we do when our quest for the perfect job, family, and life feels like we’re drowning in an ocean of overwhelm instead of floating on the carefree waves of liberty?

I don’t think this is the picture that the women in generations before us had in mind. I think they dreamed of a life of opportunity and options for women, but so often we fall into a life of obligation and burden.

I think you really can have it all. But the “all” that you can have is the “all” that you want, not the “all” that society tells you to strive for.

You’ll see other women climbing the corporate ladder, building amazingly successful careers, bringing home far more bacon than the family needs, and thriving in their jobs. You have the choice to do that too. But the most important part of that sentence is the word “choice”. You get to decide, do you want to have an exciting, high paying, successful, high ranking career? Many women will gladly say “yes”, but maybe your answer is “no”.

Maybe you just want a career with a moderate income, set hours, and just the right kind of work to help you feel like you are making a contribution and a difference in the world. Or maybe you would prefer to choose not to work. You would rather stay home with your kids and be involved in every aspect of their lives. Or you might want to build a very flexible business that will allow you to make a generous income for your family but provide the freedom to also be involved in other projects and activities in your home and community.

The freedom that previous generations of women fought for was our right to choose the life we want to live. Make sure that you are considering your own priorities, your own passions and interests, your own dreams and desires, and your own life circumstances when you decide the kind of “all” you want to have in life.

Your “all” will not and should not look exactly like my version of doing it “all”. We are all unique and God has given each of us different desires and dreams for life. You should pursue those things that God has placed on your heart, not the things that it feels like everyone else is doing.

You might see a mom who seems to be able to do it all. Her house is always immaculately clean. She goes to the gym six days a week. Her children are involved in every sport imaginable. She goes on a date night with her husband every Friday night.  And she’s always the first one to volunteer at the church. All the while holding down a successful career.

The pressure to measure yourself and your life up to her is strong. If she can do it, shouldn’t you too?  Let me be clear, the answer is absolutely “No”.

You should not do anything outside of God’s will and plan for you, personally. You should not feel pressured to pursue anything that isn’t important to you. You should not feel obligated to spend your limited time on this planet working to measure up to anyone else. This is your life. Your unique, individual, very personal life. What you do with it and how you define the “all” that you want to achieve in it is entirely up to you and your Maker.

You can have it all. You can pursue the perfect career for you. You can do just the right amount of things with your family and raise your kids in exactly the way you feel is right. You can go on any number of dates with your  husband that you want, or none at all. You can keep your house sparkling clean at all times or you can choose the “lived in” feel. You can workout as often or as little as you feel is right for you.

This is your life. Make sure you are the one choosing how to live it.