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Starting Over

January 15, 2016 | 1 Comment

How has the new year been treating you?

I’ve had a bit of a slow start to my year, followed by a very hectic rush of chaos, which has involved great amounts of stress and guilt. Good times, I’m telling you.

The day before I was supposed to go back to work and start this new year of awesome, I got super sick with strep throat. I’ve never had strep throat before and had no idea how awful it could be. Maybe I’m just a big baby, but I was down for the count for 5 days! It was so terrible. I did nothing but lay around for a solid week (except of course for a miserable and slow mile around the block to keep my run streak alive). I went from not watching any TV for myself in over 6 months to spending 3 days doing nothing but watch TV.

When I finally recovered, I was so far behind in everything. I had a massive backlog of work to do since I was off for two solid weeks, and my house, don’t even get me started. We didn’t have a clean dish in our house for days and there were toys and clutter everywhere I looked.

But today, 15 days into the New Year, I’m happy to say that I am almost all caught up at work and my house is clean. Halle-freaking-lujah!

This isn’t exactly how I had pictured my year starting. We have big financial goals for the year and we spent nearly two weeks eating fast food because I didn’t have the energy to cook.

I have big goals for my blog and this is the first time I’ve sat down to write since the year began.

I have goals for having quality time with my kids this year and all they’ve done for two weeks is sit in front of the TV. Not to mention the ridiculous number of times I lost my mind and screamed at them like a mad woman in recent days.

I think this year has gotten off to a bit of a rough start, to say the least. Maybe I’m not the only one?

You may have had big dreams and goals to start this year as well, and then life happened to you as well. You had plans to start a new diet and exercise program, but the routines and stress of life caused you to fall back into your old habits far sooner than you anticipated. Or maybe you had big financial goals with a strict budget in place, and then the car broke down, the dinner burned, or your kids grew an inch over winter break and need a whole new wardrobe. Maybe you created plan to finally get organized, but your struggling to keep up with the plans you put in place.

Life has a way of taking our hopes and dreams and plans and spinning them all into a mess of unexpected. But unexpected hurdles, mistakes, wrong choices, and delays don’t mean we are failing at life or our goals. This year still has 351 days to create awesome. A mistake right now doesn’t mean I can’t start over with my next step.

If life hasn’t quite gone the way you expected over the last two weeks, take a moment to pause, regroup, breathe, and realize that the year is still new and young and fresh. There is still plenty of time for starting over, working hard, and doing amazing things. Just take the next right step.

Be blessed!

How to respond when life doesn’t go as planned

December 23, 2015 | 7 Comments

Sometimes life doesn’t quite go the way we planned. This past weekend was my husband’s college graduation ceremony. We have been leading up to this day for four painfully long years. These past few weeks have felt like an eternity as he finished up his classes and we prepared for the big day.

Being an adult student is a completely different ball game than being a traditional 18 year old college student without a care in the world. Over the past 4 years my husband has kept up his full time 50-60 hour a week job, I’ve worked full time, our family has grown to include two small children, and we have the usual adult responsibilities of home maintenance, car repairs, and various other obligations. When you add in a full time college course schedule, life can feel a little bit like drowning at times. But we made it through! And he graduated magna cum laude (with high honors). We certainly have lots of reason to celebrate.

The graduation ceremony was scheduled to take place early on Saturday morning, over two hours from our home. My husband had to arrive two hours before we did, so I booked us a hotel room nearby to make life a bit easier. I got an extra room for my mom to give me a couple extra hands to get the kids ready in the morning. We prepped an activity bag and a snack bag for each kid to keep them occupied and happy during the ceremony. It felt like we had planned for everything and I expected the day would be filled with joy and excitement and celebration.

While at the hotel, my son tossed and turned for much of the night and took hours to fall asleep. I assumed it was due to excitement over everything going on and being away from home. Somewhere in the middle of the night though, I noticed he felt warm and I could hear him burping. Then he said his mouth hurt and felt funny (he’s 3, so his descriptions are a little difficult to decipher). I started getting very nervous and said a few urgent prayers as we fell back to sleep.

In the morning, we all popped out of bed, excited for our day, except the little one. He just rolled around in bed and refused to get up. I tried to take him down to the lobby for breakfast but he just cried and said “no”.

My husband had just gotten out of the shower when suddenly my son got sick all over the hotel room bed.

This was not how this day was supposed to go. After four long, hard years I just wanted this day to be a huge celebration. There was to be nothing but happiness and joy as we cheered my husband across the stage. The only tears that should be shed were to be joyous tears and tears of relief that we were done! But instead, I had a sick 3 year old, shivering, crying, and puking all over our hotel room.

I sent my husband to go prepare for his big day while my mom helped me clean up my son and get us all ready. We made it to the ceremony just as the procession was starting and quickly found our seats. I was beyond stressed, scared that my little boy would get sick again in the middle of the ceremony and ruin the day for everyone. I was worried that I would miss my husband’s walk across the stage. I was nervous about our long drive home with a sick kid. I was angry because this was not in my plans for this momentous day.

As I sat and listened to the opening speeches I remembered that stress is what happens when our minds resist what is. When we try to fight with reality and wish and hope and dream for different circumstances, we are only met with disappointment, anxiety, and stress. Nothing good can happen by clinging to what might have been.

My only hope for surviving and enjoying the day was to let go of my expectations, to release my worries and fears with the knowledge that worry and fear can’t actually fix anything, and simply be. I needed to take the morning that life gave me and enjoy it to the best of my abilities.

I settled into the ceremony. I snuggled my sick baby and let him fall asleep on my chest. I enjoyed the excitement of the day and remembered that no matter how things turned out, we still have much to celebrate. As the graduates moved their tassels across their graduation caps, signifying the end of a long journey, tears filled my eyes. This has been a long journey for us, but thankfully, there is still so much more to come.

My boy slept through most of the ceremony and the drive home. He was miserable and exhausted, but we were soon settled back at home where he could rest and recover in peace. We didn’t miss the ceremony. We didn’t miss the joy. And even though it felt all wrong, it still ended just right. We were together, celebrating this accomplishment as a family.

This week, you may have high expectations for how Christmas should turn out. You dream of the excitement on your children’s faces as they open their gifts. You’ve imagined the peace and beauty as you read the Christmas story. You can’t wait for a joyous meal shared with the ones you love the most.

And it might happen exactly as you plan. You may have the perfect Christmas of your dreams. But, if life has anything to do with it, Christmas might not be quite as perfect as you hope.

People may start fighting, someone might get sick, the turkey may burn and the pie might be soupy. Gifts may not cause the excitement you anticipated. And you might not even get a chance to read the Christmas story.

When all of the holiday stress and disappointment threatens to steal your joy, I challenge you to remember that stress is what happens when we resist what is. What is, may not be what you want or what you expected, but it still can be beautiful. It still can be filled with joy and love and peace. Choose that. Choose to recognize that even when life unexpectedly takes a different path, we can still accept what is, and experience moments that take our breath away.

Because Christmas isn’t about perfection. It isn’t about all of our dreams coming true. Christmas is about a perfect God coming into our imperfect world to be with us. He came to experience life with us, the good, the bad, and the mess. He never promised us perfect, He never said He’d meet all of our expectations and fulfill all our dreams. He just said He’d be here with us, through all of it. And that is all we need.

Merry Christmas. May the love of our living Savior fill your heart, your home, and your lives this Christmas. May you recognize the beauty of His perfect gift in the midst of your imperfect Christmas. May you choose to savor His love, experience His joy, and rest in His peace.

Are you living life or taking the easy road?

December 9, 2015 | 2 Comments

This past weekend I ran a 10k (6.2 mile) race. It was a lovely course along a country road, around a Christmas tree farm, and through a beautiful woods. There was a thick fog in the air which just seemed to add to the magic of the experience. The temperature was a chilly 30 degrees.

At one point I passed a guy walking the 5k race with forearm crutches. I later learned he was a cancer survivor. He was not fast. It was obvious that walking this race was not easy for him to do. It was cold, it was foggy, it was early on a Saturday morning. And this man chose to get up, get out the door, and walk a very uncomfortable, hard 5k. It took him over an hour and thirty minutes to walk 3.1 miles. He came in last place according to the results list.

But first place, second place, and last place aren’t the point. It doesn’t matter what place you come in, what matters is that you show up. Life isn’t about the number of awards you can win. Contrary to what Charlie Sheen claims, life isn’t about #winning, it’s about living.

And the cancer survivor walking a race with forearm crutches understands the power of living life.

People probably told him that he couldn’t or shouldn’t complete a 5k. But people also may have told him that he couldn’t survive cancer, but he did both.

I bet someone told him that he didn’t need to complete a 5k. He didn’t have anything to prove. He fought cancer and won, isn’t that enough? But he knew he could do more. So he did.

You see, life is lived through the easy and the hard. And it is only through the hard times that we see the beauty in the good times. It is the times when we show up when we’d rather stay in bed that we get a chance to experience the fullness of life. Because abundant life doesn’t usually happen laying in bed, sitting on the sidelines, or chilling on the couch.

Life is lived by doing. By showing up. By making the hard choices. By being present for every uncomfortable moment and enjoying the beauty amidst the fog.

Consider for a moment, the kinds of things that make you feel alive. The types of experiences that make your life feel full and abundant. I’m sure these things are slightly different for everyone, but I’m going to guess that the things that make you feel most alive, don’t always come easy. They are not without some sacrifice or discomfort at some point. But once you move past the sacrifice and push through the discomfort, you come out stronger, fuller, and more abundant. This is living life.

Maybe you feel more alive when you choose to eat healthy foods instead of junk.

Maybe you feel more alive when you put down your phone and play a game of chase with your kids.

Maybe you feel more alive when you sit down at the computer and write, even when you’re not sure what you have to write about.

Maybe you feel more alive when you step outside your comfort zone and start having real conversations and developing relationships with the people you come into contact with each day.

Maybe you feel more alive when you run, lungs burning, legs aching, pushing yourself beyond what you ever thought possible.

Maybe you feel more alive when you give generously of your time and your money to people who need your help.

Maybe you feel more alive when you speak out against the social injustices that you see and play your part in bringing hope and healing and peace to the world.

Maybe you feel more alive when you create things with your hands to give as a blessing to others.

I don’t know what makes you feel most alive. But I know that you probably talk yourself out of doing it for one reason or another every single day. It takes work, it takes effort, it takes sacrifice. But there is real life on the other side. Choose life. Choose the hard things. Make the sacrifices and enjoy living life to the full.

You only have one life, live it abundantly.

How to find your purpose in life

October 30, 2015 | 2 Comments

What is your purpose in life?

What has God uniquely called you to do?

Do questions like these make you break out into a cold sweat because you feel like you are the only person on earth who has no idea what their purpose or calling is?

I’m sweating right there with you, sister. I have no idea what God has uniquely designed me to accomplish in my lifetime. I know there are a handful of things I’m fairly good at. I know what kinds of things I’m interested in and passionate about. But I do not have a clear picture of how to use those skills and passions to fulfill some grand purpose for my life.

We hear lots of people talk about “finding our calling” and fulfilling it, but most of the people I talk to have no idea what their calling actually looks like. And since I work as an admissions counselor for a university, I talk to a lot of people about their calling and purpose for life every single day.

I’m sure that some people know. I bet there are plenty of heart surgeons out there who know they are fulfilling their calling, living out their purpose by fixing and repairing hearts all day long. They love it, they are fulfilled by it, and they are making a difference in the world.

But I bet there are a lot of heart surgeons out there repairing hearts right now who don’t love it and aren’t really fulfilled by it anymore. There are also probably a few retired heart surgeons who have no idea who they are anymore because all their lives they fulfilled their “heart surgeon” calling and now they wonder what to do with themselves after their supposed “life purpose” has been completed through a successful career.

Earlier this month I ran another half marathon. This race was described as a “challenging, all trail, no repeat course” through a beautiful state park up in Michigan. I was excited for this run because I knew it would be fun to run through the woods and take in all of the fall colors. But I was also a bit terrified. Most people consider 13.1 miles to be challenging enough. I have a few running friends who specifically look for races described as “fast and flat” for a reason. Making 13.1 miles more challenging than it already is sounds a lot like torture. I had no idea what to expect from a race that specifically marketed themselves as “challenging.”

As we stood at the starting line, the race director warned us to be careful. He let us know that there would be hazards on the course, uneven ground, logs, roots, wet leaves, steep hills, and more. He promised us that we would never be bored on the course. The finish line was directly next to the starting line. I could see where I would end up, but all around me was woods and fields and meadows. I had never been to this park and I had not studied the course map.

I trusted the race director when he said that he had spent days marking the course. I only needed to pay attention and follow the signs and I would end up at the finish line after 13.1 miles, just like I had planned.

I think life is a lot like that race. We know where we are starting from and we recognize the finish line (that would be death or the return of Jesus, whichever way you’re dreaming of leaving this world). But all through the middle, life is a mystery. We don’t know what challenges are ahead. We don’t know what beautiful and amazing things we will encounter. We can only see the path directly in front of us in the moment.

We must remain alert to watch for the hazards that might trip us up. We constantly have to watch for signs indicating a change in direction. And most importantly, we must intentionally keep moving. We cannot stand at our starting line and hope that the other runners or the wind carry us through the race. We each have to run our own race. We each have to keep moving.

God is like our life’s race director. He has carefully marked out the path. He knows all of the hazards, the twists, the turns, the uphill battles, and the downhill seasons of blessing that we will experience. We must trust that if we pay attention and follow his gentle leading, we will overcome all of the obstacles and end up at our finish line, just as He has planned.

But the paying attention and following God’s leading is not a passive activity. We must live our lives with the intention of finishing the race marked before us. Each day we have to choose to keep moving forward, no matter how hard, no matter how obscure the signs, and no matter how tired we are.

Slowing down is an option, lots of people took walking breaks during my race to catch their breath or to slowly climb up a steep hill. Stumbling and falling might happen, several people fell during the race through the park, but they brushed themselves off and kept moving forward. And many people also made a wrong turn, they missed the signs and ended up headed in the wrong direction. And yet they still didn’t give up, they backtracked, refocused, and found the right path again.

Living a life of purpose doesn’t mean that you know what the future holds. It doesn’t mean you know exactly what that purpose is. Living a life of purpose means that you are living on purpose, with intention. You are noticing, watching, paying attention to the signs, the hazards, the detours. You are working, striving, and giving it your all. You show up, do the hard things, and keep pressing forward.

In a practical sense, living with purpose means working hard at your job, even when it feels monotonous and frustrating.

It means being kind and generous with the people you come in contact with.

It means showing up for a friend who is going through a hard time.

Living with purpose means playing with your kids and enjoying them.

Going on dates with your spouse.

Turning off technology a little more often and noticing the real life surrounding you.

Living with intention means actively pursuing the things in life that bring you joy and light you up on the inside.

It means dreaming dreams and setting goals that can lead you to your dreams.

It means saying no to things that leave us feeling empty and tasks that lead us nowhere.

It means taking risks and trying new things and realizing that taking a wrong turn doesn’t mean our race is over, it simply means we need to take a different path.

God has blessed each of us with one life. He has created us for a specific purpose, to be good stewards of this great world He has created for us. May we live our lives with gratitude for this gift. May we faithfully seek to live our fullest lives, actively pursuing the dreams and the passions He has uniquely placed in our hearts. And when we turn the final corner of our lives and the finish line begins to come into view, may we have the gift of knowing that we gave our all on the course, we ran our best race, and we finished strong.

Your turn: What are you doing today to live your best life? What actions are you taking to live today with purpose and intention? How can you begin to notice and pay attention to the signs that God is placing in your life, indicating your next path on this journey of life?

How to Overcome Your Feelings of Inadequacy

April 13, 2015 | 5 Comments

I have a bit of an addiction with running and working out lately. It stirs inside of me most heavily every Spring. The brighter morning sun, the beautiful weather, and the freshness and life that appears around me after a long, cold, dark winter all work together to pull me outside and into a run. To force myself to breathe deeply and smell the fresh Spring air, to feel the sun warming my face, and to take in the sights of melting snow, greening lawns, and budding flowers. Oh, it makes me so happy.

I’m currently training to run a half-marathon in a little over a month. One of my friends somehow convinced me to go on a girl’s weekend away to run a half marathon. Some women go shopping on their girl’s weekends, some party in Vegas, some sip mimosas on the beach, but the four of us get away to run 13.1 miles as fast as our little legs will carry us. You might think we’re a bit crazy.

Although a relaxing weekend on the beach with some friends does sound really nice, I’m really excited for our getaway race weekend. Because on a run, I learn and grow and develop far more than I ever could relaxing at home or on the beach. And I’m really excited to join 3 other women on this race because I know that facing this task with each other will bring us together and connect us in a way that a party weekend in Vegas never could.

You see running does so many things for me. Things like helping me look fit and trim, helping me to feel energetic and healthy. It helps me combat stress and anxiety. It helps me enjoy the great outdoors and the beautiful creation that God has gifted to us. It gives me the opportunity to get alone with my thoughts and just be.

But you see, I choose to run, not for the way it makes my body look, and not even for the way it makes me feel. I choose to run because of what my body is able to teach me about myself, my strength, my resilience, my dedication, and my self-discipline.

I regularly struggle with feelings of inadequacy and failure. I’m sure I’m not the only woman who feels this way. I make the wrong choices, I don’t meet the goals I’ve set for myself, I give in when I wanted to be strong, I lose my temper, I feel confused and frustrated, I struggle with finding the right answer to my circumstances. Over and over throughout the week, I’m bombarded with signs that try to tell me that I’m not good enough and I’ll never get it right.

This past Saturday I went out for a 10-mile training run. In the days leading up to this run, I was just not feeling up to the task. I was tired and just wanted to sleep in, I was a little sore from previous runs, and my head was trying to tell me all about how hard it would be and how much it would hurt. The reality is that I just ran 9 miles a week ago so adding one extra mile this weekend was not going to be all that difficult. And my goal for all of my runs is simply to get it done, no matter how long it takes.

You see, my feelings of failure and inadequacy spill over into all areas of my life, even (especially) into my running. But still, I pulled on my compression socks, laced up my shoes, stuck in my earbuds, and headed out the door at 7:45 am on my Saturday morning. The first five miles felt like an eternity. I was running in an area that I wasn’t familiar with and I thought for sure I must have traveled further than my GPS was telling me. But I kept running. I encountered far more hills that I normally do, but yet I continued to put one foot in front of the other. My brain was telling me I didn’t eat enough breakfast, drank too much water, and slept too poorly to be successful, but I just kept taking the next step. Until suddenly, I was done.

And so as I begin this work week and I’m flooded with thoughts that tell me I’m not good enough. When my brain starts stressing out about my to-do list, my lack of time with my kids, my inability to focus and get things done, my failures from last week, I start to freak out a little bit. Until I remember what I learned on my run.

My run taught me to lift my head up and put one foot in front of the other, to take that next step on my to-do list. My run taught me that I am good enough, in fact, I’m pretty great. My run taught me that I can overcome obstacles and accomplish the impossible. My run taught me that I can focus and do hard things. My run taught me that I can be self-disciplined and make the right decisions. My run taught me that I’m not a failure, I am fully equipped, strong, and capable to live this amazing life that God has blessed me with.

As you approach your week, you might have some feelings of inadequacy yourself. Maybe you struggle with knowing that you are up to the challenges you will face this week. I want you to know that I’m not special. I don’t have some great superpower that allowed me to run those ten miles and learn these things this past weekend. I simply lifted my gazed to the Creator of the Universe and started putting one foot in front of the other. I made one right decision, to start, and all the rest of the decisions started becoming so much easier.

“I lift up my eyes to the mountains – where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip – he who watches over you will not slumber.” – Psalm 121:1-3

Lift up your eyes and then step out and watch and see how you are more than you ever dreamed because, with the Maker of heaven and earth living inside you, you can do the impossible. You just have to start.

Additional Resources

I Am: A 60-Day Journey to Knowing Who You Are Because of Who He Is

My Experience Running Everyday for a Year

Let’s All Be Brave: Living Life with Everything You Have

5 Habits Every Working Mom Should Develop

Starting Over

How to respond when life doesn’t go as planned

Are you living life or taking the easy road?

How to find your purpose in life

Your turn: What are you doing today to live your best life? What actions are you taking to live today with purpose and intention? How can you begin to notice and pay attention to the signs that God is placing in your life, indicating your next path on this journey of life?

How to Overcome Your Feelings of Inadequacy

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